This book was recommended by my friend when I was visiting Davos. I read this book in February 2019. Katherine Woodward Thomas is a very compassionate and loving woman and is the founder of the 'Conscious Uncoupling' concept. I attended a webinar she hosted and she has the loveliest and most gentle voice. I was very inspired by the first chapter where she recommends that we grow our capacity to love and be loved.
You must be willing to grow yourself beyond the person that you are today. Because the person you are now is the person who has created the experiences that you have already had. As they say in the twelve-step programs, "Our best thinking got us here." As such, your task is to grow yourself healthier and stronger in order to create a space for a remarkable love to enter your life. As long as we are acting out the disappointments of our past, we will most likely remain frustrated and unfulfilled in our attempts to actualise love in our lives. However, once we have done the work to heal ourselves, it then becomes possible for us to bring the best of who we are to others.
Katherine Woodward Thomas explains that when we are taking actions that are in often with our values, there is often a tremendous drain on our sense of wholeness and wellbeing. If we can see our lives as a series of challenges that provide us with opportunities for growth, with the goal of advancing ourselves in wisdom and compassion, then it is easier to accept our past failures and disappointments. We want to be generous, loving and accepting of others.
We tend to like those who are generous with us, allowing us to make mistakes and be imperfect without holding it against us. When people are generous, we feel like we can breathe around them. We feel like we can be more authentically who we are. Generosity is a spacious phenomenon.
She quoted Leo Buscaglia's "Love", "If you want to learn to love, then you must start the process of finding out what it is, what qualities make up a loving person and how these are developed. Each person has the potential for love. But potential is never realised without work."