I don't know

When I was young, I often answered questions with "I don't know."

My mom and my sister got annoyed at me.  They said I was just too lazy to think of a real answer so I just respond with "I don't know."

After that, I became more mindful of how I answer questions and somehow learned that smart people often have an opinion about things.  Or French people, who are cool, often have opinions about all sorts of things.  So I established a new rule in my head: have opinions even if you don't. And try to be unique and controversial, that will make me more interesting. 

I remember once my housemate in London bought some new clothes and I felt compelled to say which ones I like and which ones I didn't like but I honestly had no opinions on the clothes. I just felt like I needed to give an opinion in order to look smart. 

Now I have this really bad habit of making people wrong. It's a manifestation of my fear of looking stupid. But then I make people feel bad because I make other people look stupid. It's almost as if I'm hunting for loopholes and flaws in what people say. Whether that's correcting grammar or logical fallacies or whatnot. The purpose is for me to feel accepted by others so they don't think I'm stupid. Seriously, I have major inferiority complex in relation to intelligence - pretty obvious from my high achiever streak. In my attempt to look not stupid, I've successfully managed to sound super arrogant.

The coping strategies we come up with... the original intent is now so far away from the actual current result.  Well now it's become a habit, as in I don't even have to actively consciously try to contradict someone, my brain will automatically do that for me.  It's a useful skill for my day job but pretty awful for my friendships and relationships. So let's bring the unconscious actions into consciousness and be a little more mindful of when I'm making people wrong. No one wants to be told they are wrong.  The customer is always right!  Remember, the customer is always right, and you can always add your opinion after agreeing with them. That is if you have a real opinion, sometimes I don't think I have an opinion, it's just a habit, and I say stuff that I may not believe in that much or at all.