I finished re-listening to the audible version of "Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers" by Karyl McBride and there's this paragraph about the importance of grieving that really resonates with me.
"Don't listen to others as you go through this [grieving] process. Well-meaning friends and loved ones often say things like "Forget it already." "You can't undo the past--quit trying." "Quit thinking about the past and be in the present." Those closest to you (and some not so close) will discourage you from doing this important [grieving] work because they do not understand just how important it is. They may not want to see you suffer, so they try to fix it. They don't understand that if you don't face this sadness, it will remain part of you forever. Do not listen to this unqualified advice. This is precisely why so many people today are projecting their feelings, misbehaving, creating crises for themselves and others, suffering from depression and anxiety, and are not being accountable for their own actions and emotions--they're not facing the truth about their own pain. I am giving you, from personal and professional experience, the 'key' to working through the third step of recovery so that it is effective. If you ignore this step out of fear or because you listened to others' opinions, your recovery won't work. This step is the most important step of recovery."
You, and you, and you, and you. All of you who wouldn't let me cry. Those who mean well and those who are manipulative, let me be. I know what I'm doing.